Chloe's Day Home

Chloe stayed home from school today as she was not feeling too well. She vomited early in the morning and woke up with little red spots around her eyes and cheeks. I started to get anxious and tried looking it up online to see what it could possibly be. Looks like it's probably a broken blood vessel due to the vomiting...something called 'petechiae'? It was hard for me not to worry especially after what happened with Christa. I have been praying asking God to give me His peace to guard my heart and mind. The spots are still there, but the paediatrician said not to worry as long as the vomitting settles and the spots do not get worse. A few days from today...Sept 3rd will be a year from when we found out Christa had medulloblastoma. I guess the whole event is just currently being replayed in my mind, and making me a bit of a nervous wreck. Thank God for praying parents and mentor, and of course His word the double-edged sword.

Otherwise, Chloe actually was quite fine...playing with Rachel and all. I guess being at home all day on a rainy day made her think of Christa and how it would have been nice to have someone to play with. She wrote on her board, " I MISS CHRISTA"....yes, me too!

Chloe's Party-Flowers for Christa

I saw these flowers when I visited my friend Aquila at her home the weekend before Chloe's party. They reminded me of Christa and I thought it would be appropriate to have it at Chloe's Tinkerbell party this year. Granny and grandpa used to have a big 'bush' of these flowers outside their house. Whenever she saw them from the car she would say, "Fairies!" For a while we tried to figure out why she kept saying fairies, and then realised that she thought these flowers were fairies. So now whenever I see these flowers I think of fairies, but most of all I remember my beloved little girl, Christa.

PS. Thanks Aquila for cutting and bringing some of these flowers for the party! Must find out what they are called. In Malaysia I seem to remember calling them Birds of Paradise.

August-The Month of Birthdays

It's August again and I am reminded of the last month Christa spent with us before she was officially 'sick' or diagnosed with medulloblastoma. Her last month as a healthy child was spent partying! First of all it was her good friend Sinead's birthday, and then Chloe's birthday and then Gabi ( a friend of Chloe's) birthday, which was the last birthday she got to really enjoy without being knowingly sick. Although, Gabi's birthday was only 3 days prior to her diagnosis. It is still unbelievable how our lives can change so quickly.

This year however, the birthday celebrations are tinged with a bit of sadness for me. I couldn't bring myself to attend Sinead's birthday party with Chloe....seeing a bunch of 4 year olds jumping around and having fun the way they did when Christa was around last year would just be too painful for me.

I was almost going to not have the kind of birthday party that Chloe's grown accustomed to this year (where mom goes all crazy with ideas for crafts, games, baking, decor etc.), but decided that we should go ahead and celebrate like we normally would because Chloe did so deserve it. She has been so incredibly good and strong through all of this. And so this year, Chloe's decided on having a Tinkerbell party. Christa would have so enjoyed it! She used to always yell "Tinkerbell!" at the beginning of the Disney movies where the letters D-V-D would pop up and then Tinkerbell would appear at the end of it.