Tuesday, November 4, 2008


We were listening to our WOW2007 CD in the car this weekend and Chloe started talking about this song and how she knows what loves means. It got me kind of curious and I picked up the CD cover and read a bit about this song, and that is when I realised it was written by someone by the name of Christa and it spoke of God's love holding us through unspeakable pain. And then I looked up the lyrics during the week and found this little devotional together with it from http://www.christian-music-lyrics-for-daily-devotions.com/held.html

It says:"The song "Held" sung by Natalie Grant is a powerful song of God's love holding us and sustaining us through unspeakable pain. The lyrics were written by a woman who tells the story in the first verse of two of her friends. One was a woman who's husband died within two months of being diagnosed with cancer. The second friend had finally had a baby after praying and trying for several years. The baby was healthy and growing and died in his sleep at only eight months.
I don't know how big your pain is, but I do know God is bigger. I know that He is big enough to take every bit of the pain and anger you can throw at Him and love you through it all. God never promises that we'll be saved from the nightmares of this life but He does promise that when everything falls He'll be there to hold you."

"Held" lyrics:

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we’d be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it’s unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We’d be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

© 2005 Christa Wells

Been feeling kind of numb lately. Memories of Christa's last few months still haunts me with much sadness. It's hard to keep remembering and feeling the pain over and over. On one hand I want to trust God and grow, and on the other hand I've got to admit it's incredibly hard when I hear of people's prayers being answered and I wonder why God didn't hear us when we cried out to Him for our precious little girl. So it seems easier to not feel. That way I won't be too angry or sad or anything. But somehow even in the numbness of it all, the pain still lingers. Oh, how I wish I could truly know what it means to be held....